Well I've finally got myself a good job! I'm officially a prison psychologist! All my degrees and studying finally paid off, and after a 2.5 hour long interview, 3 application packs and many many months...I got the job! I start on Monday.
There is only one problem and that is the commute. Unfortunately I am to be one of those zombies who wakes at 6am every day, spends 30 mins on a horrible bus and then walks for 30 mins up hill through fields! It sounds bloody awful. I've been spoiled the past few months by starting work at 9.30....I didnt have to get out of bed until 8am. That seems like mega luxury now. At the end of the day, I've just got to get on with it until we can afford a car (I have however been considering getting a Vespa! Somehow I cant see myself on one though)
Bonfire night tonight and we're off for burgers and soup, by the local bonfire, to watch some fireworks. I love Bonfire night...one of my favourite events of the year.
Wedding plans are coming along nicely. We've put the deposit down on Loseley Park so we're officially getting married on December 22nd 2009! We're looking into booking a Celeidh band as well which sounds like amazing fun! We've decided on a whole hog roast, reception in the barn with roaring log fires, and lots of mulled wine! Mmmmmm. Sounds perfect.
TA DA!

Filled out a 3 hour long application for the prison psychology role on Monday night...it's on its way to them now so am keeping everything crossed it's good news. I hope they know I'm their perfect candidate!

Have a tummy ache today...and feeling very fed up. Have to take my sister to women's football tryouts straight after work...so there goes my evening! My evening tomorrow is taken up by a work meeting which they've renamed "staff drinks"! Ha Ha....1 glass of cheap wine and about 3 hours of boredom is hardly "drinks". Friday night will be an early one because Ed has a race on Saturday morning BUT then Saturday night will be tops because we're going to the Nottingham Beer festival! Good live music, about 500 different brews of beer and almost as many ciders. Cannot wait! I think I'm gonna need it by then.

So tonight I'll be eating my dinner on the side lines playing "soccer mum"! Urgh...I want a hot water bottle and my bed. TA DA

I phoned in sick on Friday due to a bad cold and no sleep the night before. I cancelled my interview with the police because I was in no fit state to meet with a panel of police directors, and they said that it was the final day for interviews and they were going to offer it to someone else. Fine! I got a call the day before from the prison asking me to go for an interview for the prison psychologist role so I'm thinking its all fated....I'm hoping so anyway. Spent Friday on the sofa watching Market Kitchen and Dr Phil. Saturday was much of the same, except we did do the weekly food shop in Aldi and Tesco, and we rearranged the furniture in the living room. I've always loved having a furniture move-around. Makes the place feel new again.
Sunday we had home made breakfast burritos and then my Sister and I went for a 4 hour long walk to feed the ducks/geese/swans on the lakes in Colwick. We made a fantastic chili chicken thai noodle soup which felt good to "slurp" and spent the evening reading.
Gym this morning....and then rushed into work to send off my timesheet in time as I wasnt here on Friday. Hopefully I'll get paid this week! Had a nice surprise last friday when they refunded my tax that I've paid so far! £250 I didnt think I had....will go on to my credit card to reduce a bit of my debt. Not much though.....

It feels very Autumny all of a sudden, which I like. I can smell the bonfires already. It's cold...but I'm determined not to put my heating on until at least November. We'll have to put on more layers and sleep with hot water bottles until then. Heating is just far too expensive to justify it yet. I'm in the mood for baking and soup making, and getting my wellies and scarf on and going for walks. Before we know it it'll be Christmas! Need to start saving for that too....urgh! I really hope I get this job....it'll make my year! ta da

I'm at work...annoyed at the world. This morning I had a big fat guy practically sit on me on the bus (if Ed had been sitting as close I'd have said "Oi! Get off me!") which made me squash up against the side of the bus and in doing so...sat on my yogurt which exploded all over the rest of my lunch. Thankfully...there was none on my bum!
When I finally squeezed past him and off the bus, I walked for 15 minutes down my usual route to find out it had been blocked off and I couldnt get through. I had to double back, and walk for another 25 minutes to get into the hospital grounds, only to get stuck and lost in the main hospital building with the fire alarm. You have to stand still until the fire alarm goes off! Needless to say...I was late. And its been a day of people not listening properly. In my current temp role i am the first point of contact for patients coming to the new treatment centre. I have to check them into the building, and tell them directions of where to go. Each person...I've had to tell the same directions to at least 3 times...and they still haven't heard properly. People just dont listen anymore! I really cannot wait to finish this temp role...onwards and upwards.
Went to the gym this morning....and yesterday morning. 7am and sweating my guts out on the elliptical trainer. It feels like a bad dream at the time, but I always feel good afterwards.
Watched Jamie's Ministry of Food last night...and I don't know why he bothers to be honest. He dedicates far too much of his time to the fat, lazy, chavs of this nation and they don't deserve it. If they think £15 a night on take away food is the cheaper option then they are more stupid than I thought! If I went to Sainsbury's and spent £15 for food for 4 people we'd eat like kings! It makes me angry that they treat him like an idiot who's wasting his time....if I were him I'd turn around and say "Right...well you can all rot in your council homes and die young...have fun!". Their attitude stinks.
Looking forward to dinner at Emily's culinary school tomorrow night! We've been invited to taste their culinary "learnings"! Mmmm Ta da

Monday nights (if you have Sky and live in the UK!) is now officially the best night for TV.
After work yesterday I made Gnocci with a tomato and roasted vegetable sauce, had a glass of wine and settled in for an evening of TV! Now some of this is extremely "low-brow" TV but I cant help but love it. It started with Hollyoaks, then Eastenders, then "what to eat now" with the fabulous Valentine Warner (he made Pumpkins look so sexy!) then America's Next Top Model, and THEN Lipstick Jungle! By 11am my Television soul was so happy! And then I went to bed.
Hollyoaks seems to get more and more depressing...now they're broaching the subject of AIDs among many other "political" issues. Eastenders Isn't much better...from paedophilia and sexual child abuse to health and safety standards in food production! I cant help but watch it though. When I was a kid my Mum used to watch Eastenders and I think it got me hooked subconsciously. I have to say I am absolutely loving "what to eat now". I am a self professed food programme addict anyway, give me Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall or Nigella, whether I've seen it already or not, and I am extremely happy. Anyway, Valentine Warner is definitely a new one to add to my list of favourite TV Foodies. The only man I've ever seen look comfortable sat with a church hall full of WI ladies and about 20 victoria sponges! Wish it was more than just 30 minutes a week!
The new season of America's next top model is already getting on my nerves a bit. They have begun picking the "models" based on their TV personalities and their ability to fight with each other ( a bit like Big Brother) instead of their potential to be a model. And Tyra is becoming a bit too big for her boots I think! AND they got rid of Twiggy on the panel! I'm putting my bets on Claire to win...she seems to the most "modelesque" as they like to call it...and at the moment she's very nice!
Lipstick Jungle seems good. Only just had the 2nd episode but so far so good. It's all a bit predictable though. Why do successful women always have jobs like Editor of a magazine, CEO of some glamorous film company, or "fashion designer"? Why couldn't one of them have been a top surgeon? Or a lawyer or something? Something that involved a little less glamour and a little more intelligence? I hate that successful TV characters all have highly glamourised jobs. ANYWAY....I like the programme so far!

I've been reading over my very first year of posting to this journal and it's shocked me. I am struck by how shallow and self-absorbed I was. At the time I think I thought I was "different"...someone with a brain and a sense of class, but from here I think I was just like everyone else. I'm 24 now, and I was 17 then. I spent the whole time claiming I was strong but emotionally messed up (how that makes sense I'll never know) and acting one way when I felt another. I was a drama queen and an attention seeker and at the time I honestly thought I wasn't! My emotions were obviously running wild at the time because I was in love with about 10 different guys all at one time, and had convinced myself that flaunting however many guys were interested in me at the time was a decent thing to do.
Having read over it, and remembering the things I used to get up to and the people I hung out with, I am overcome with a real sense of sadness that it's over. Yes I am appalled at myself for the way I acted then, but it was such a brilliant time. I thought I was depressed then, but I feel now that it was one of the happiest times of my life. I had so much independence, and so much fun, and so many fantastic "moments" where I had butterflys in my stomach and wished it'd never have ended. I dont have any of that anymore. I dont remember the last time I wished something wouldnt end. I also dont remember the last time I had butterflys in my stomach from excitement and nervousness. The moment when you're just about to kiss someone new, the anticipation of getting ready to go out with someone you fancy, the getting drunk with fantastic friends and discovering new things about each other, and the experiencing of new things for the first time (first time of going to a club, first house party I ever threw, first time I had sex, first time I smoked a cigarette). I remember waking up the morning after being at a high school house party, having been drunk with friends the night before, maybe having confessed that I fancied someone and ended up in an empty bedroom with them, getting dropped off at home at 2am by a friend who had a car, and feeling absolutely amazing. I havent woken on a Saturday morning with a smile that big in years...and I probably never will again. At the time I couldnt wait to get back to England. Even in this journal I complain about my life in America and wish to move back to England most days. I'm in England now, and I miss my American life. I miss being English in an American school, and I miss the cars and the parties etc. It's horrible knowing I'll never feel that exhilarated ever again.
It's made me feel very discontented with my current life and wishing for something more. Part of me wants to be single again, to feel the excitement of going out with someone all over again. But back then I wished for what I have now. Why is it that we're never satisfied? I feel like 24 is not old enough to have lost out on all the fun I used to have. I might have been young at the time to have been doing what I was doing...but did that mean I had to lose out on fun now? I valued being considered fun, and crazy and wild...and I dont think anyone would say I was any of those things now. I'm sure it must be normal to feel like this when you get older, but I still feel like I could get all that back if I really wanted to...I could leave this life behind and go back couldn't I? What would I give up on? Just Ed...I have nothing else. I bet I'd get a better job over there as well. URGH I don't know what to do. I've got the rest of my life ahead of me....if I make one major change now it could change everything...for ever. If I stay with my life now...I'll never know what I could have had had I had the guts to go back.

My Mum was here for 2 weeks up until this time last week which was great. It was lovely coming home from work to her and my sister...made things feel much more homely and cosy. My Sister is living with me now whilst she goes to culinary school here in Nottingham. It's made my Mum leaving much easier because I now have family around all the time...even if its not ALL of the family. It's great having someone else to share the task of cooking dinner with, and great to have a helping hand with cleaning etc. It's also great to have someone to do things with (like going to see girly movies....going shopping etc.) who isn't Ed because I havent met any new friends in Nottingham yet and its so nice to do something without Ed for a change. It all gets a bit too much sometimes.

Still working as a temp in the QMC Hospital which is going OK. It's a very boring role, but I'm certainly enjoying the money. Have paid for a few magazine subscriptions (I love getting magazines through the door every month) as well as a few meals out which is always a treat! It's nice to know we dont have to cut back as much as we were. I have a permanent job interview with the police and as a corporate development administrator in October. It's not exactly the role I wanted, but if I get it it will be a good foot in the door. I can move up from there.

And thats it I think. I'd like to know when other people felt they were happiest. What age were you?

Our trip to Italy was absolutely amazing...but we've been back nearly 3 weeks now so I've come back down to earth and will probably skip details that I so desperately wanted to write about before!
The villa was absolutely gorgeous and was situated on top of a hill, near Cortona, in Tuscany, over looking vine yards and fields full of sunflowers. There were 14 of us there in the end. Ed's family, and their family friends the Shabankareh's, and we all had an absolute blast. We had a number of day trips to local hilltop towns (Cortona, Orvieto, Montepulciano) as well as a fantastic trip to Florence, and Ed and I ended the trip with a night in Rome together. In between trips we layed by the pool in the baking sun reading books and hanging out. It was just fabulous and I could have quite happily stayed there, with those people forever! Coming back to Nottingham was quite depressing to say the least, however we've had a packed August so it's kept us busy.
I got a temp job working at the QMC Treatment Centre in Nottingham as a "patient host" which I am currently still working. We went up to Edinburgh for the weekend last weekend which was lovely, but again made us wish we didnt have to return to Nottingham! This past bank holiday weekend we went down to Surrey for a party of my grandparents and to see my Mum and sister who arrived from Houston on Saturday. Unfortunately weather was crap, like all British Bank holidays, but did enjoy hanging out with the family. They're up to stay with us in Nottingham for 2 weeks next Sunday, and Saturday we're off to Liverpool for the day to see the Klimt exhibition in the Tate.
So August has been fantastic and I'll be sad when the middle of September rolls around and we've got nothing to look forward to anymore! (However a quiet weekend at home does sound appealing right now).

Weight Watchers has stalled a bit after all these trips but I'm getting back on track again now.

No sign of any decent permanent jobs at the moment. I've been applying for jobs within the police and as a psycological assistant in a local prison, but the application process seems to take months and months so it's just a waiting game now really. If I got the prison job I'd be over the moon as it sounds ideal and would be really great for my career. Everything is crossed for it, but it's been put on hold for some admin reason or other. Meanwhile, I'm happy temping at the hospital but it's extremely boring...too much sitting around with nothing to do.

I cant believe I've not updated this since I moved to Nottingham. Shocking.
I'm going to try and sum the past 3 months up fairly quickly.

Move to Nottingham went as smoothly as could be desired. Moved into our lace market flat and gradually settled in and got used to the traffic noise outside. Kittens survived the 5 hour train journey like little troopers and really enjoy watching all the cars and people from the windows. Our flat in Edinburgh just looked out over garden...nothing exciting there!

Spent 2 weeks in Nottingham settling in and then jetted off for a 2 week trip to Houston with the family. Really enjoyed the time at home, with plenty of meals out and evenings sipping beer in the pool in the sun. Managed to do a pretty massive good deed and helped my uncle de-clutter and clean his house. No small feat I assure you. Plenty of shopping was done and I came back with perhaps a tad too much Le Creuset from the new outlet near my parents house.

Left Houston with my Dad and sister and flew to Rome for a week. Had a really fabulous time staying in a very posh hotel, eating fabulous food, and seeing all the sites. The Treve Fountain has to have been my favourite...completely gorgeous! Shame about the many MANY tourists. But then you could say that about all of Rome really! Spent my 2nd to last night hugging the hotel toilet after a very bad bowl of mussels (they smelled like a farm...why I didnt send them back is beyond me!) so my last day in Rome was spent in bed watching TV in german and drinking tonic water because my Dad couldnt find any Lucozade!

After Rome I spent a night in London at my Grandparents place, and then went to see a possible wedding venue in Surrey the following day. Have pretty much decided that it's "the one", as the 18th century Tithe barn is absolutely gorgeous, and the venue will be half price due to renovation work going on elsewhere in the grounds! If you're bored, it's called Loseley Park in Godalming and the website has lots of lovely pics!

Back to Nottingham after that and the following weekend had a fantastic engagement party in our flat with lots of lovely people we hadn't seen for ages, and then ended up getting a temp job with e-on energy in their 3rd party damages team. It's been very boring and tedious, but the money has been needed and its been something to get me out of the flat. Have applied for a few permanent jobs with the police, but the application process seems to take forever and I haven't heard back yet. My temp job finishes this friday so I'm going to need to hear something back soon, or else I'll have to get more temp work...yuck!

Spent the past weekend in Holland (Den Haag) staying with Ed's family for his Mum's 50th. Had a really lovely weekend and feel considerably better about things between his parents and me. And Wednesday of last week Ed surprised me with tickets to see Meatloaf in Nottingham which was fantastic. Poor bloke can't sing like he used to....but he's still a legend and I'm very glad I've seen him live.

Which about brings me up to date! I've been doing weight watchers online for about 3 weeks now and so far so good. I've started the long haul struggle to lose weight for the wedding next year and this time I'm determined to do it right. The last thing I want is to hate my wedding pictures because I didnt put in the effort. Weight Watchers seems to be very simple to do, and very easy to stick to so I think this will be very good for me. Looking forward to seeing some considerable results in the next few months.

Am going to Splendour festival in Nottingham this weekend to see Kate Nash and the Charlatans and others. Hoping the weather is better than it has been recently, and it should be a really great day. Ed has really started trying to be more imaginative with planning things for us to do and it's been really nice for me to sit back for once and let him make a few plans. I suppose now he's got a good job with his own money he's in more of a position to splash out on surprises for me. I'm liking it!

Off to Italy for 10 days in 2 weeks which I really cannot wait for! But I will update more before that I'm sure! Off to make a veggie stir fry....thank god vegetables are Zero points! TA DA

Had an OK weekend in Nottingham. Arriving back in Edinburgh yesterday morning only affirmed that Nottingham really isn't the most exciting/attractive place in the world...Edinburgh could well be however. *Sigh*. It was great being with Ed for the weekend, lots of laughs, lots of affection and lots of episodes of 24! (I've only just watched the 1st series this past weekend!). I think the thing that bothers me most about Nottingham is the amount of unsightly crappy buildings which tower above the attractive character-full buildings....and then of course there are the chavs in tracksuits that seem to be out in force there. The lace-market area, where our flat is, is nice, with some very nice looking restaurants/bars and of course good shops (apparently what Nottingham is most famous for now!) but we've been so spoilt living in Brighton and now Edinburgh that it just cant compare. I guess we'll just have to get used to it. Our flat is nice, if not a bit smaller than I imagined, but it's in the best area, and has very nice brand new kitchen/bathrooms and of course the gym/swimming pool is a big bonus! Less than 2 weeks to go before we move in and relocate for good. Quite a depressing thought actually...but it's all for a good reason...when Ed has more experience under his belt maybe we can relocate to somewhere a bit more "us"...it sounds so snobby but I cant help it!

This is my last week of waking up early for work! Now that is a good feeling. I've got over a month off after next week which includes 2 weeks getting settled in Nottingham, 2 weeks home in Houston and then 1 week in Rome! Also got a trip to Florence planned later on in the summer, although the problem is its with Ed's parents and that totally puts me off the whole idea. The thought of finding a new job in Nottingham is pretty daunting at the moment though...I dont know where to start. I'm hoping once we move down there and I have days off I'll be able to focus a bit more. I really dont want to end up as another receptionist...it's sooo tedious.

When the hell is warmer weather going to hit Britain!? It's almost May and I'm still sitting in work absolutely freezing, and the weather over the weekend was so grey and miserable that I actually began to understand what they mean by Seasonal Affective Disorder! Perhaps thats why I got such a negative impression of Nottingham.
Ta da!

Ed was home for the weekend which was lovely. He arrived Friday night at around midnight and we basically got into bed and fell asleep! It was so nice to wake up next to him on Saturday morning though. We had a lazy morning which involved tea in bed, and massive home-made breakfast burritos with egg, potato, sausage and salsa all wrapped up in a tortilla. DELICIOUS! God do I miss Mexican breakfast. Anyway, we decided to have 1 last visit to Edinburgh's amazing farmers market and we sat and had a coffee and looked up at the castle. Bought some fudge, an amazing Rabbit and Haggis Pie, and a bottle of rapeseed oil which we both love to stock up and take to Nottingham with us. It's sad to think that our saturday mornings at the market will be no more. It's one of my favourite things about Edinburgh. I'm just hoping Nottingham has something similar, although I doubt it will be able to compare.
Saturday night was a hilarious blend of drink and the most rediculous dancing by Ed and his Irish friend Morgan. We were in fancy snobby bars, drinking over priced drinks, and almost wetting myself at the looks Ed and Morgan were getting. You've never seen two blokes get so 'in to' the "groove". Hysterical. On Sunday we ate the pie, spent most of the day in bed, and then Ed left for his train back down to Nottingham and left me feeling a bit low. We've hardly spent any time together recently, and this weekend made me remember how happy I am when Ed is around. Soon enough we'll be back together permanently. Thank God!
Summer approaching (at least it is in my head!) has spurred me on to try and slim down. The thought of wearing strappy tops and a swimsuit fills me with absolute horror at the moment, so I'm determined to feel a little more confident by the time I go to Houston/Rome. I refuse to cover up myself in that heat. Have been swapping breakfast and dinner with slim fast shakes (which is fine because with Ed not being around I cant be bothered to make dinner anyway) and having a nice lunch. I even went running last night! My lungs were burning, my thighs were aching and my nose was running, but boy did it feel good to get back home and stretch out and feel like I actually did something healthy for a change. If I can run 4 times a week I should be well on the way to feeling more confident by the middle of May, which is when I go to Houston. My aim is to lose 10lbs by May 17th, and to have lost 20lbs by the beginning of June when I go to Rome.
I ordered some summery clothes from the Next Directory which I tend to do around this time of year. I have a credit account with them which lets me pay it off gradually, so I had a bit of a splurge! Got some lovely summer dresses which would look amazing on someone 1/2 the size of me, but I dont care! They inspire me to be feminine and sprightly and they'll look lovely to go out to dinner in Rome in. Another incentive to lose the weight....Italian women! Urgh. And my sister...I'll be surrounded by skinny fashionable women, and then there'll be me, short, round, blonde and uncomfortable. I dont think that'll ever change, but I'm gonna try damn it!
I'm off down to Nottingham this weekend to check out the place I'm about to call home. A little apprehensive, but excited too. Fingers crossed it's not as bad as I've heard. Ta da

p.s Saleisha winning America's next top model has really hacked me off...and the way they both slagged Jenah off made me wanna bash their heads together. Mean girls...I'm sad the series is over...but at least we have Project Runway and Desperate Housewives back!